Opinon

Off the Mark by Mark Wilmes

Happy anniversary to us!

Kathy and I celebrated 17 years of marriage over the weekend. The remarkable story of my wedding weekend I’ve told before in the Hendricks and Lake Benton papers, so I won’t bore them (not to mention those who were there for it) with a rehashing, but I’ll touch on the highlights for the Tyler readers.

For those of you who have lived in Minnesota for at least a couple of decades, you will remember the Halloween blizzard of 1991. According to the University of Minnesota climate web page, that weekend ranked as the #3 weather event of all time in Minnesota. This, after Kathy and I had scheduled our wedding for November 2nd, so we wouldn’t have to fight bad weather later in the month.

I was playing in a band called Impact at the time, and we played in Windom on Halloween night. Lake Benton native Jeff Downs was also playing in Impact at that time. He called me this past Monday, just to remind me that I missed my wedding ceremony 17 years ago. I spent my supposed-to-be wedding night with Jeff and another bandmate in the Johnson Motel in Windom, playing Nintendo Lunar Pool.

While Lincoln County only got between 4-8 inches of snow, the Windom area received between 14-18 inches. The highway patrol wouldn’t let me out of town until three days later, after Kathy and I had gradually canceled, throughout the weekend — the wedding rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, and the dance, and finally ended up postponing the wedding until Sunday afternoon. We called off the honeymoon also, and ended up going back to work on Monday morning.

A number of other instances of bad luck struck us over that weekend, but we ended up surviving and thankfully, the marriage still is intact.

The temperature was in the 70s on Monday, about 70 degrees higher than it was on November 3rd, 1991, when we were scooping the sidewalk in front of Danebod, Kathy in her wedding dress, me in my tux.

We did revisit the weekend somewhat on our fifth anniversary, when we finally had that wedding dance. Even that was a bit unorthodox, as I played in the band.

Last year we REALLY celebrated in style. November 2nd marked one year since my big life-changing surgery. I was still pretty groggy for most of November 3rd, and had tubes pretty much coming from everywhere.

So, happy anniversary, Kathy, it has been a tough year.

And thanks for sticking with me for 17 years, through thick and through th...um well, I guess I’ve pretty much always just been thick.

Here’s to the next 17...

Only In America

Even with all the hoo-ha and nasty rhetoric, I have to say,

America

is still the very best and greatest country on the planet, and on voting day I will be proudly displaying my flag and casting my vote.

Only in America are there parking spots for the handicapped in front of skating rinks.

Only in America do the banks leave their vaults open and yet chain the pens to the desks.

Only in America do the drugstores make the sick walk to the very back of the store to get their prescription, but allow the healthy to pick up their cigarettes in the front.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Place spinach in a large glass bowl, and heat in the microwave for 3 minutes, stirring every minute or so, or until wilted. Stir in sour cream, marble jack cheese, and garlic. Lay the chicken breasts out on a clean surface, and spoon some of the spinach mixture onto each one. Roll up chicken to enclose the spinach, then wrap each chicken breast with two slices of bacon. Secure with toothpicks, and arrange in a shallow baking dish. Bake uncovered for 35 minutes in the preheated oven, then increase heat to 500 degrees, or use the oven's broiler to cook for an additional 5 to 10 minutes to brown the bacon.

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You've made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now, it's MY fault.”

In keeping with the theme of politics and voting, I have decided that this month’s Cookie of the Month will be a bit different and special. Instead of having it on our usual first Thursday of the month, this time we will sample them on Election Day, Tues, Nov. 4 at the LB News office.

This month’s Cookie of the Month will be a “politically correct” cookie that will allow you to bite the head off of your favorite (or maybe least favorite?) presidential candidate. Be sure to stop down to the LB News office on voting day and take out your aggression/frustration and reward yourself at the same time for putting up with all the ads and rhetoric all these months.

In a large bowl, beat peanut butter, Crisco, sugars and egg. Add vanilla and mix until smooth. Beat in remaining ingredients until blended. Divide dough in half and chill for an hour. On a well floured surface, rollout dough until it is 1/8 inch thick. Cut out desired shapes and bake on a greased cookie sheet for about 8-10 minutes or until lightly golden. Let stand on cookie sheets 2 minutes before removing, then cool completely before icing. Makes about 5 dozen, depending on the size of the cut-outs.

Two friends are discussing politics on Election Day, each trying to no avail to convince the other to switch sides.

Finally, one says to the other: "Look, it's clear that we are unalterably opposed on every political issue. Our votes will surely cancel out. Why not save ourselves some time and both agree to not vote today?''

Shortly after that, a friend of the first one who had heard the conversation says, "That was a sporting offer you made.''

“May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you” Psalm 33:22

In the world of sports there are weekly “love” moments. A two out homerun, a last second plunge into the end zone, a diving, sliding stop by a goalie or a basket at the buzzer just naturally bring out the cheers, joy and happiness from the home town fans.

Now when our God calls for us to love him with our heart, soul and mind with our entire being, do we really get as excited about loving God as we may “love” a victorious sports team?

Read all of Psalm 33. The psalmist gives example after example of how God’s unfailing love operates in the world. He writes that the “word of the LORD is right and true and he is faithful in all he does. When God promises something, he delivers. (That is more than what can say about our sports teams.) God’s Word, the Bible, contains “fan”tastic promises. Investigate those promises.

The psalmist also writes, “The LORD loves...justice.” We love God because we know that whatever happens in our life and in the world conforms to God’s perfect definition of justice. Every one always gets a fair shake from God.

The psalmist also says that by “the LORD were the heavens made... and he gathers the waters into jars” and he “deliver(s) from death” and he “keep(s) alive in famine.” God loves us. He created the world. He created us. And whether we are hit by the likes of Katrina, Rita or Gustav, we have certain knowledge that God will preserve life according to his unfailing love and his perfect justice.

“We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.” One of God’s names is Jesus. And Jesus’ name means “The LORD saves.” Putting our hope in Jesus, we will see God’s unfailing love in action. We will have the salvation of our souls through the forgiveness of sins. That is reason enough to be in God’s cheering section!